Glossary

Term	Definition
Beer Hall	A derogatory term used to describe an establishment that is utterly lacking in atmosphere. "Ugh, what a beer hall." Top three signs you're in a beer hall: "community centre" tables (fold down, faux wood veneer, you know the type) fluorescent overhead lighting fills the room Blue/Export/Canadian/Coors Light proudly dominate the tap selection (see BLECC)
Beer Mats	Thin disks of absorbent cardboard placed under pint glasses to soak up condensation. Without beer mats, the table top becomes slick with condensation, and the pint glass drips in your lap with each sip. In other circles (no pun intended), these devices are called "coasters". But a true Pintathlete uses only the term "beer mats". Feel free to ask for them if not offered: "Excuse me, but could we also have some beer mats?".
BLECC	A term that generically describes mass produced, mainstream beers. Its derivation is twofold: first, an acronym composed from Blue, Export, Canadian, and Coors Light. Second, the utterance usually made after such beers are named. For more on BLECC beers, see "Fiddy".
Classic	Term used to describe an establishment that at first seems lacking in atmosphere, but slowly wins you over. Sometimes because of the characters, and sometimes because of the cheezy yet charming decor, Classics make you say "I just might drop by this dump next time I'm in the neighbourhood!"
Comfortably Loud	The desired aural state in a pub for the Perfect Pint Experience. When a pub is comfortably loud, the background noise (voices, music) is low enough that you can easily hear your friends and be heard, but high enough that your conversation cannot be overheard at the next table.
Fiddy	The proper pronunciation of the number 50 when used during a Pintathlon. For example: "How much were the pints each?" "Five fiddy". Fiddy is also the the pronunciation of Labatt's 50, the only mass produced mainstream beer that has been granted an exemption from BLECC status.
Half Pintathlon	Same as a Pintathlon, but only half-pints are consumed. This variation appeals to those who enjoy the Quest for the Perfect Pint Experience, but at half the volume. Because Pintathlon is neither a pub crawl nor an adolescent beer fest, the Half Pintathlon carries no negative connotations whatsoever. [see also "Pintathlon"]
Intent	An anticipated outcome that guides your planned actions. Synonyms: aim, intention, purpose, design. Not to be confused with Pintent.
Jewel Status	Status conferred upon those town, city or neighbourhood establishments that offer Perfect Pint experiences. Typically, only one establishment can carry Jewel Status.
LCBO	For the benefit of our many non-Ontario readers, LCBO stands for Liquor Control Board of Ontario. While The Beer Store is the name-brand place to get beer in the province, the LCBO brings in some marvellous and unusual brews, both domestic and international. While many pronounce it as the acronym (EL-SEE-BEE-OH), it is de rigeur among Pinathletes to pronounce it as LICK-BO.
LICK-BO	See "LCBO"
Luggage	A term to describe a person whose behaviour or attitude puts a damper on a Pintathlon. A Pintathlon is a happy occasion, so anyone who engages in whining or complaining becomes a form of social luggage, so much baggage that the other Pintathletes are forced to carry around. If necessary, inform the person in question that s/he is luggage by saying "You are luggage" or "Hello, Samsonite".
Mats, Beer	See "Beer Mats"
Pintathlon	The quest for the Perfect Pint Experience. Not to be confused with a pub crawl, a Pintathlon involves the exploration of all pubs and bars within a town, city or neighbourhood in an effort to discover the best place for a pint. Notes should be taken, rigourous criteria applied, and scores given to each establishment. A Pintathlon does not need to be finished in a single evening. Much to the contrary, a Pintathlon is highly successful when lovingly conducted over several days or weeks. In some cases, the size of the city dictates a long timeframe, such as the Halifax Pintathlon which took over a week.
Pintent	Pintent - The intent to serve a pint; the planned actions of a licensed public house to serve the perfect pint experience.
Pintfolio	The roster of cities, towns or neighbourhoods in which you have conducted Pinatathlons. Your Pintfolio may include cities, town or neighbourhoods that are either complete or in progress.
Pinting	The act of going out for pints. Note the plural: to say "why don't we go pinting on Saturday night" is to suggest an evening of pints. If your intention is to go for a quick pint, perhaps after work, then it's more appropriate (and accurate) to say "let's go for a pint." Never suggest "pinting" when your intention is to have a quick one.
Pub Crawl	Premeditated drunkenness achieved by visiting a planned series of bars and having a drink in each, performed in large groups and often involving a hired bus or passenger van. The ability to discern between a pub crawl and a Pintathlon is a prerequisite of becoming a Pintathlete. [see also "Pintathlon"]
Two-pint Service	Service that is so slow that you're tempted to order two pints when the waiter/waitress finally comes by. The paradox here is that the poor service drives you out the door so you're not likely to stick around for the second pint, anyway.